Power Play (Primetime Teaching)

WE’RE TEACHING THIS 

Power is a good thing. And in most cases, more power is a better thing. We want our phones to be powered up, our cars to be powerful, our laptops to be powered on, and our football teams made of power players. But those aren’t the only places that power is important to us. We all want to have power in relationships too. Maybe you’ve never thought about it that way but chances are you want people to listen to you, to pay attention to you or to care about what you think.

That’s power. And whether you realize it or not, every relationship you have comes with some power or influence. Every interaction with another person is an opportunity to use your power, even if you feel like you don’t have any. During this series we’re going to talk about two people from the New Testament who looked at power differently than anyone else: Paul and Jesus. In their stories, we find that, no matter who is in control, there is always a power play we can make on behalf of others. 

THINK ABOUT THIS 

When you first became a family, you likely thought that you would never have a fight.

You would be a perfect couple.

Your son would discipline himself, and your daughter would, well, never sin because she’s your daughter.

How’s that going? Hasn’t really turned out that way, has it?

The sad reality is that every family fights. As much as we don’t like it, we do. Most of us realize fighting is destructive and likely unChristian, but we don’t know what to do about it.

And the stakes are high. Families, break up or break down as a result.

So what do you do about fighting?

Well, if you’re going to fight, just fight differently. There are actually two ways for a family to fight.

• You can fight with each other.
• Or you can fight for each other.

These two small words—for and with—represent a world of difference in how you fight.

Most of us have only ever had someone fight with us. If someone fights with you, it’s a zero sum game. They need to win and you need to lose or you need to win in order for them to lose. The people who fight care more about themselves than anyone. Both eventually walk away feeling diminished.

Contrast that with fighting for someone. When you fight for someone: You’re fighting for them so you want to see them better off. The fight is happening because you want to see them win, not because you want to win. You care more about their interests than you do about yours. Both walk away replenished—with the relationship stronger in the short and long term. Even if the other person doesn’t respond well, you have done everything in your power to help them, not hurt them.

Fighting for your family means you want their best interests to prevail, not yours. It means that when there’s conflict, the conflict is about moving through an issue so that person is better off, not so you feel right or vindicated. And finally it means that everyone leaves better than before the fight, rather than depleted. Relationships are stronger and the issues got dealt with in a way that actually helped your family move forward.

TRY THIS 

Sometimes fighting for your student means choosing which battles matter most right now and which can be walked away from, even if it’s just for a little time. A heated argument, fueled with teenage sarcasm, can make any issue feel like a battle you must win—but that doesn’t mean it is. When you choose to fight for your student, to fight for something that really matters in their life and their future, they’ll be more likely to listen if they know you don’t fight with them over everything.

Think about the last month with your student. Write down the four areas where you experience the most conflict with them. Maybe it’s how they keep their room or how they drive the car. Maybe it’s how little time they spend at home or how much time they spend with friends.

1. ______________________________________________
   
2. ______________________________________________
   
3. ______________________________________________
   
4. ______________________________________________
   

Now, take a look at your list and think about which ones matter most—not only to their high school career, but also to their future and the future of your relationship with them. If you could only choose to fight one or two of these battles with your student, which would one(s) would you pick?

Next time you feel the power struggle start to rise in your house, take a quick peek back at this list. Is a fight brewing over something that really matters? Then, choose to fight for them. If it isn’t, give yourself the permission to let this one go. 

SHIFT: SHIFT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH PEOPLE

SCRIPTURE 

Philippians 2:1-18
“If there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine pas lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. Likewise you also should be glad and rejoice with me.”

SUMMARY

Imitating Jesus, especially his humility, is the key to living well with other believers.

At Home DISCUSSION

Here are some great discussion starters for you to take this discussion home after TOV.  Don't quiz your teen, but instead talk about it in a transparent way where you are sharing as well.

1. Do you ever struggle in your relationships with other Christians—either at your church, or within the worldwide church? Share an example.
2. Do you think society encourages us to be selfish? How do you see examples of that? Do you ever fall into that trap?
3. How often do you struggle with complaining and grumbling? How do complaining and grumbling relate to humility? How do they relate to sacrifice?

APPLICATION

1. In what kinds of situations is it hardest for you to look to the interests of others?
2. How can we as a familypractice humility and servanthood this week?

SHIFT: SHIFT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD

Scripture

John 15:1–8

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit….”

Summary

Jesus is the vine, the ultimate source of life. If we stay connected to him, we will produce fruit. But if we are cut off from him we cannot produce fruit in our lives as God intended.

Gut Check Time

What vines are attached to your life right now? Are they helping you to look more or less like Jesus?

Don’t forget that Jesus was sharing this story with his disciples (who needed to hear this message too) right before he was going away from them. It was a critical reminder to all of them about the need to remain attached to the true vine.

Let’s look at five significant steps that each of us can take to help shift our lives in a way that will help us stay attached to the true vine and do something significant with the one life we have been given.

1.      Identify and list areas in your life where you are attached to the true vine.

2.      Identify and list areas in your life where you are attached to false vines.

3.      Verbalize and share both of those lists with a trusted friend and leader.

4.      With your friends and leader put together a specific plan to shift your life in a way that connects you to the true vine and away from the false vines.

5.      Repeat steps 1-4 often.

Trunk or Treat

Trunk or Treat is coming Oct. 31st 2015

Trunk or Treat was birthed out of this desire to be a blessing to the community around us. So we literally drove out of KCC and decided to host Trunk or Treat at the Kent Target.  It provides a safe, fun, and welcoming environment for kids to trunk or treat, parents to grab some cider/popcorn, and for us to share the love of God in organic ways. We have seen over 700 people young and old blessed by this event.  It takes a lot of people to make this event successful.  There's lots to do whether it's decorating a car, passing out candy, greeting, making cider or popcorn, or helping with setup/teardown- we'd love to have you. It's been great to see how truly intergenerational this event can be when the church gathers together to throw an amazing party. We hope this night will also be an opportunity to build friendships and invite  them to come check out KCC, Kent Nepali Church, or Esperanza Viva . We hope you can join us.